An elopement photographer's guide to an intimate but inclusive elopement

How to Include Family & Friends in your elopement

Eloping doesn’t mean leaving your loved ones behind! While an elopement is all about intimacy and adventure, there are so many meaningful ways to include family and friends- before, during, or after your big day.

Whether you want a private ceremony followed by a celebration, a small gathering in a breathtaking location, or creative ways to involve loved ones from afar, this guide covers everything you need to know. From zoom calls to a reception after eloping, we’ll go over heartfelt and practical ideas on how to include family and friends in your elopement while keeping the focus on you and your love.

Ready to plan an elopement that feels both personal and inclusive? Let’s dive in!

Table of Contents

+ Why include loved ones in your elopement?
+ Ways to involve family and friends before your elopement
+ Meaningful ways to include loved ones on your elopement day
+ Ways to include loved ones after your elopement
+ How to handle family expectations and boundaries with your elopement
+ Things to consider when including loved ones in your elopement
+ Final thoughts: crafting an elopement that feels authentically yours

Including family and friends in your elopement means:

Why include loved ones in your elopement?

Eloping is often seen as a private escape- just the two of you, a breathtaking location, and a celebration of your love. But what if you also want your closest family and friends to be a part of your story? Including loved ones in your elopement doesn’t mean sacrificing intimacy; instead, it can add layers of meaning, support, and joy to your day.

The Best of both worlds:

Get married at sunrise with just your partner, then meet up with your loved ones for brunch and champagne toasts. Or exchange rings with your closest 10 people before running off for epic couple’s photos. Whatever you do there are so many ways to mix private moments with shared celebrations!

Keeping the traditions that matter:

Always imagined your dad walking you down the aisle? Want your grandma to see you tie the knot? You can still have those heartwarming moments without a 200-person wedding. Think of an intimate ceremony with just your VIP’s, then off on your adventure!

Avoiding Future Regrets:

Some couples love their completely private elopement, but others later wish they’d included their best friend or parents. If you’re torn, there are plenty of creative ways to involve your loved ones while keeping things authentically you.

Include people because it makes your day better, not because you "should." Whether that's 10 guests or zero, what matters is that it feels right for the two of you.

Remember: this is YOUR adventure

Ways to involve family & Friends before your elopement

Who says the celebration has to wait until the big day? Here's how to get your favorite people involved before you run off into the sunset together.

Make them a part of the elopement planning process

Your loved ones want to help- so let them! You can include them in dress shopping, invite them to help you pick out your elopement attire. Or maybe have them help curate a pinterest board with different elopement ideas. There are so many different ways your loved ones can help you plan your elopement.

Throw an engagement party!

Invite all your loved ones to celebrate with you before your big adventure. Some engagement party ideas are:

+ A backyard campout: bonfire, s'mores, and a starry sky to match your adventurous vibe
+ a mimosa brunch with your loved ones before you head out
+ a virtual toast: can't gather in person? Zoom call with all your favorite people.

Why this works:

Involving your loves ones pre-elopement isn't about obligation- it's aobut sharing the excitement in ways that feel natural. You get the best of both worlds: the intimacy of an elopement and the joy of including your family and friends- without the stress.

Meaningful ways to include loved ones on your elopement day

An elopement is about celebrating your commitment in a way that feels true to you- but that doesn’t mean excluding the people who matter most. Here are thoughtful ways to involve family and friends while preserving the intimacy of your day.

An intimate ceremony with close witnesses

+ Limit the group to immediate family or a handful of your closest friends
+ Choose a location that accommodates your group
+ skip formal seating: let everyone find their own spot to stand or sit comfortably
+ ask a trusted person to hold your rings or keep track of the marriage license

For the couples who want a few special people present:

Shared adventures before or after

+ Get ready with your closest friends at your airbnb or hotel
+ hand out with your loved ones the morning of, then head out for a sunset ceremony with just the two of you
+ Schedule a next-day activity like kayaking or a group picnic

For those who want to include others while keeping the ceremony private:

Virtual participation

+ Set up a phone to livestream just the ceremony
+ ask loved ones to write you letters to read on your elopement day
+ send a video of you in your wedding attire with a personal memo from both of you

For those who can't be there in person

Why this works:

Every person present should add to your experience, avoid inviting people who will cause drama, create unnecessary stress or take the focus away from you and what you want to do on your special day. Remember that there are many beautiful ways to include family or friends in your “getting married” experience, even if they’re not physically present. There’s no right or wrong way to do things as you’re following your heart. Don’t compromise. Don’t fall victim to expectations. Don’t let anyone else tell you how to have your day (that’s what big weddings are for.)

Ways to include loved ones after your elopement

The adventure doesn't end when you say "i do" Here's how to bring your loved ones into the celebration after your elopement while maintaining the authenticity of your experience:

Host a reception after eloping

Whether you have a casual backyard barbeque or a traditional reception at a venue, hosting a reception after you elope is a great way to include family and friends in your wedding day without having them physically present at your elopement.

Share memories of your elopement experience

Make sure to share your elopement day photos with your family and friends, they are going to be so excited to see your photos. You could also create a shared album with videos and phone photos you took of your trip.

Thoughtful tokens of appreciation

You could send handwritten notes with a photo from your day, or create individual thank you videos to express your gratitude for the support from your loved ones. You could even bring back small souvenirs.

How to handle family expectations and boundaries with your elopement

Eloping is a deeply personal choice- but that doesn’t mean your loved ones won’t have feelings about it. Here’s how to honor relationships while staying true to your vision, without guilt or drama.

1. Start the Conversation Early (but on your terms)

Surprise announcements often lead to hurt feelings. giving people time to process helps them come around.

Why it matters:

Frame it positively: Lead with why you're excited, not why you're avoiding a wedding.

How to do it:

"We've decided to elope in the mountains- just us, the views, and our vows. It feels so us and we are so excited!"

Control the narrative: tell key people personally before social media. A video call or a personal text goes further than just a group text or finding out on facebook.

Prepare your answers: Have simple responses ready for commonly asked questions

"We're keeping it private, but we'd love to celebrate with your afterwards!"

Avoid over-explaining or apologizing. This is your decision, not a negotiation.

What to avoid:

2. Offer Alternative Ways to Participate

People often just want to feel included in some way, refer back to some of the ideas earlier in this blog post for ways to include your loved ones.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

When planning and executing your elopement it's extremely important to set clear boundaries with your loved ones.

Tactful ways to say "no":

"We've decided to keep the ceremony just for us, but we can't wait to show you the photos over dinner when we're back!"

"We're not having guests, but we'd love your help picking out our outfits."

"I know you're excited, but we're not discussing details right now. Let's focus on another topic."

When pushback happens:

+ Acknowledge the emotion: "i hear you're disappointed, and that makes sense."

+ Reinforce your choice: "this is what feels right for us as a couple."

+ Redirect: "How about we plan a special lunch when we're back?"

4. Handle Common Objections with Confidence

"But we wanted to be there"

"We're touched you care so much. We're choosing this because (reason: intimacy/adventure/simplicity)"

"What about tradition?"

"We're creating our own traditions! Like (personal touch: hiking to our ceremony spot/writing custom vows)"

"Are you sure you won't regret it?"

"We've thought deeply about this. What we'd regret is (not being true to ourselves/stressing over a big event)"

When to Stand Firm

If faced with ultimatums or guilt trips: “we understand this isn’t what you envisioned, but it’s what we’ve chosen. We hope you’ll love and support us.”

Some relationships may need temporary space, that’s okay. True loved ones will come around when they see your joy.

Remember, the day is about you. It’s good to empathize with friends and family who may be initially disappointed in your plans- but don’t forget that your wedding day is a celebration of your love and that you deserve to have the day that feels right to you.

Things to consider when including loved ones in your elopement

Eloping with family or friends present requires a different approach than a traditional wedding- or even a completely private elopement. Here are some final things to consider to ensure your day stays true to your vision while honoring the people you include.

Group Size & Logistics

Even a small group changes the dynamic. More people mean more coordination, potential delays, and potentially compromises on location.

Questions to ask yourself:

How many guests can our location comfortably accommodate?

What’s your tolerance for group management? Are you prepared to coordinate arrival times, attire, or accessibility needs?

Will guests enhance or distract from your experience? Some couples find loved one’s presence comforting; others feel pressured to “host.”

What Part of the Elopement Experience will Guests be Physically Present at?

allows you to have intimacy while still sharing the joy

Option A: Private vows & Group celebration

gives loved ones a role without making the whole day about the group

Option b: small ceremony & immediate departure

hike together, celebrate together- ideal for couples that want loved ones to be a part of it all

Option c: Full group experience

Managing Expectations

Even the most easy going guests will have assumptions. make sure to address these upfront:

Attire: Make sure your guests know what to wear
timing: make sure everyone knows what times different things start
Roles: Address any traditional roles that you will not be doing: ex. ring bearer, father walking bride down the aisle, etc

if you feel like any of your guests will have difficulty with your expectations, you might want to consider whether you want them to be there or not. it's not worth all the extra stress if they aren't going to be willing to meet your expectations.

The Emotional Factor

Is there anyone you’re planning to invite that may try to take over or take control of your experience, try to shift focus away from what matters to the two of you, or who makes you uncomfortable, nervous, or stressed out?

Make sure to only invite people that are just as excited as you about the experience and are fully on board for what you have envisioned for your day.

Final Thoughts: Crafting an elopement that feels authentically yours

At its heart, an elopement is about honoring your relationship in a way that feels genuine and meaningful- whether that means just the two of you on a mountaintop or sharing the moment with a handful of your closest people. There’s no “right" way to include loved ones; what matters is that every choice reflects what you truly want.

Some couples find magic in complete solitude, while others cherish having their parents’ quiet support of their best friend’s laughter echoing across a canyon. The key is to weigh the practicalities, communicate clearly, and stay anchored in why you’re eloping in the first place.

However you design your day, remember: this is about beginning your marriage in a way that feels joyful and true to you both. However you choose to include- or not include- your people, what matters most is that when you look back you’ll remember the love, the adventure, and the freedom of doing it your way.

Hey! I'm Katie, your adventure elopement photographer

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